October 2018: Fears, Phobias, and Halloween

Being an ex-high schooler who used to frequent Hot Topic and buy fake vampire fangs from Spencer’s (yes, you can cringe now), Halloween is one of my favorite times of the year. That’s why our very first showcase of the House of Misfits members is based around Fears, Phobias, and Halloween. Here, you’ll find the inspired creations from the members of the House of Misfits mental health server.

Homemade Apple Cider by miunaluna

Recently, I went apple picking at a local farm so I had a ton of apples in my house. One thing I love during the fall but I never have often is hot apple cider. It’s flavors are the embodiment of autumn and it warms you from the inside out. I figured since I had so many apples, I would try to make something new with them, so I made apple cider at home from scratch!

What you will need:

  • 8-10 apples (you can do all the same apple or you can do a mix of different types!)

  • Sugar - about 1 cup (I also added approximately 2 tablespoons of brown sugar but you don’t have to~)

  • Cinnamon - 4 whole cinnamon sticks (I also added in 1-2 tablespoons of powder cinnamon. The powdered cinnamon isn’t necessary but add as you like to your personal taste!)

  • Allspice - 3-4 tablespoons

  • Other spices - I’m a little extra so I added in a sprinkle of ginger, 2 teaspoons of cloves, and I had apple pie spice lying around so I used some of that too. It all depends on what flavors you like and how intense you want them to be!


  1. Take your apples and give them a good rinse. You don’t have to remove the core/seeds/peels but I would recommend doing so, especially if you don’t own cheesecloth like me. (see step 9)

  2. Cut your apples into quarters and put them in a stock pot.

  3. Fill the pot with water, but not to the top! Just enough that the water covers all the apples in the pot. This recipe should  yield about half a gallon of apple cider.

  4. Add in your sugar and your spices!

  5. Boil everything on high with the stock pot uncovered for an hour. Remember to check on the pot often!

  6. After the first hour is up, cover the pot and lower the heat. Let it simmer for 2 more hours.

  7. When the 2 hours are up, you can turn the stove off and remove the pot from the heat so it can cool.

  8. Take out the cinnamon sticks, because now you are going to mash those apples! (I used a potato masher, but the apples are suuuuuper soft and they’re basically apple sauce at this point so you could probably even mash them with a large spoon.)

  9. Get a strainer and a large bowl/ container and drain your apple mixer! Now, if you have cheesecloth, you can just put the rest of the apple saucey pulp into it and squeeze out the remainder of the juice. However, I don’t own cheesecloth so I just took a spoon and went to town on the pulp through the strainer. Just be careful you don’t get clumps in your cider!

  10. Put your cider in a pitcher or some form of a large sealable container. You can keep the cider refrigerated for 7 -10 days!

I hope this was helpful and I hope you have fun making your own cider! I had fun and it ended up being really good! It’s the perfect thing for a cold morning. Just lay back with a book, or listen to your favorite music, heat yourself up a nice cup of hot apple cider, and enjoy your chilly autumn day!

Thanks to miunaluna for this fantastic recipe!

Hope (A poem)

You used to be a friend.

one of my best.

The one I shared

all my secrets with.

The one who put my dreams to the test

But one day, all that ended.

Our relationship was finally put to rest.


You lost belief in me,

I lost the desire to see,

see what could have become of me,

the desire to be,

the thing I perceived, I once could

could have achieved.

I decided to leave you,

and allow this sickness to take a hold.

It encompassed quite literally all of me.

I forgot who I was without it's touch.

What I have become is a mess,

nothing but a drone.

Without you, I'm nothing but a clone

of who I was before, a person with soul, and emotion

who didn't HAVE to be alone.

Look at me,

The soulless monster I've become.

I've fallen so fast, my wings broke from the land

I've taken a dive

I've been dragged so far down

I want(ed) to die

I don't know who I am,

the old me lost in time.

And who are you? Pry tell.

How do I find a reason to cry?

To sing? To scream?

Where's my reason to fucking be?


I miss you dear hope,

won't you please, please come back to me?

I'm begging you, to save me

from this wretched life,

that only I've contrived.

This beautiful poem was written by Fallen Warrior (Maxielove93)

A song by Camwhyy


I cant help this feeling
feeling that ive got inside
im starting to thing
and its starting to sink (in)

that you dont love me anymore
dont love me anymore

i want so badly
for you to love me
like the way that you used to
back when it was all brand new

i cant help but feel ignored
help but feel ignored

but deep down i know i know

i know were gonna be okay, quit pushing me away
i know that we've been distant
and things are a lil different
but we can find away
there will be better days
instead of "we're over"
lets start over
we're gonna be okay

I'll try my best to let you know
know when I feel
yeah i feel
we might be letting go.
id rather take that chance
that leap
and feel

we can find a way
there will be better days
instead of we're over
lets start over
we're gonna be okay

This wonderful song was written by Camwhyy (Twitter, Instagram)

Can you hear me? (A poem)

Can you hear me?
Can you hear my scream?
My begging, My need?
Can you feel my greed?
My greed for life I have yet to have.
Can you feel my sorrow?
Buried so deep within the marrow of my bones.
Can you hear my fear?
Fears of losing those dear.
Can you hear my prayers?
Hidden deep within these layers?
Layers that have been created to detour those who care?
Can you feel my pain?
Like a heartbeat of its own.
Can you hear my love?
It's colour white like a dove souring clear sky's into an abyss I know not.
Can you hear my cries?
My cries for help, my need for freedom.
Can you hear me die?
As crimson surround my unmoving form, my life doomed for eternal rest.
Did you hear me?
Did you care?
Now I'm gone?
I shall never know.

This haunting poem was written by Benny.

A Metaphorical Aquaphobia

After all, it’s not just what’s in the water. It’s the water itself. Who’d ever think that something so valuable to human sustainability would be so terrifying?

It’s nearly October. As autumn turns great oaks fiery red and the insects go to Hell for the winter, all things scary come out to play. I mean, stores like Walmart have been teeming with spooky decor since July, but now it’s finally socially acceptable to the public. I’m personally ready for the autumn breeze chilling my ugly pumpkin-colored sweaters, and I hope everyone isn’t worn out by just how overbearing retail can be with these festivities.

What’s great about the fall and the cooling weather is I don’t have to worry about the beach anymore. There’s something about the waves and the sea’s volatile nature that petrifies me.

See, when I was young, I almost drowned. A wave engulfed me and all I could see was the most beautifully chaotic azure I only thought could be part of the afterlife. Surely, I knew I was gone, swept out into the Atlantic to mingle with the currents. Oceanic tides slammed me into the sand and my lungs filled up with merciless sea water. Everything I knew was blue and only blue - no other color existed. And that’s where it began.

The ocean brings me to a panic. When the sea licks at my toes for forgiveness, my heart rate quickens and sometimes I even find it hard to breathe - I drown within myself in a way just as traumatic as when the ocean took me that day. I remember the pang of sea salt in my mouth burning my throat. I remember the life being taken from me for just a moment. I remember not being able to breathe. I remember it all, and that day I danced with Death.

My biggest fear is drowning, and yet I drown almost every day. Sometimes, I feel I am the ocean: chaotic at its core, shimmering with its murky depth. The ocean is such a misunderstood creature, her deepest secrets still but a mystery that humanity hasn’t dwelled, for it is too hellbent on the stars. Her everlasting rage, perhaps, is one lusting for the world to see her. Have you ever considered the ocean wreaks the havoc she does so the world will turn to her once more?

Alas, I digress.

The trenches of my mind are so complex, such as everyone else. I have to remind myself that I’m not the only other human on Earth and then I drown in existential realization that the world is so loud! Louder than the ocean’s own unholy screaming! Louder than the times my brain is out to splatter my heart scarlet against the sky. I’ve drowned so many times in the inner workings of my own volcanic soul, spewing white-hot fire that sears into ice within moments. This mix of the elements is simply too much. My weary mind cannot comprehend this excess emotion.

My aquaphobia is treacherous, because not only do I fear the ocean in her physical form, but also the oceans of my mind, churning just as alive as whirlpools. I see myself overcoming tides only to be shot back down, but my motto is I don’t have to let her win. When I feel myself drowning, I remember that unless I’m submerged in water (which, thankfully, I almost never am), I actually can breathe. I can indeed handle what ocean my mind has flung me into. And so, I taught myself not only how to swim, but also how to out up a fight and stand up against the current.

If the ocean can persevere so beautifully, then so can I. If she can remain, despite it all, then I will too. I’ll be just like her, in all her chaos. In all her beauty.

This inspired piece was written by Beth Smith (Sezbeth)



Masklophobia is the fear of people in masks and costumes, such as mascot suits. It is a real diagnosable phobia typically common in children.

Experts say it is a fear that’s apart of normal child development and typically gets outgrown.

However, I have not yet had the privilege of getting over this fear. It’s not so much focused on just masks or halloween costumes. It’s the mascot suits I’m really afraid of. I can’t even stand near them.

I normally turn the other way or hide behind something, I’ll even go so far as to use a loved one as a human shield. I start shaking and my anxiety starts choking me. You wouldn’t catch me dead near a mascot.

There are only two instances in my whole life where I was able to push past my fear.

When I was a kid, my parents used to take us to Sesame Place, an amusement park for Sesame Street in New Jersey. My favorite muppet, besides the ever popular Elmo, and silly Ernie, was Zoey.  I loved Zoey.

So when my mom wanted a picture of me and Zoey, you can imagine how panicked I must have been. I felt so conflicted! I started shutting down, I went non-verbal, and my anxiety waiting on the line only increased by the minute.

But when I was finally my turn and I saw her, I thought to myself, “This is my friend Zoey! She would never hurt me.” She was super soft and shaggy and gave me a big hug, and my fear dissipated long enough to take the picture.

It was such a rare occurrence and I was so proud of myself for overcoming my fear, even if for a moment.

The second instance took place in none other than New York Comic Con, a place that is crawling with costumes. Now, I’m not afraid of cosplay or just regular masks, but there are all kinds of outfits and people you see in Comic Con.

There could be people dressed as clowns, there could be people cosplaying monsters from horror games, and there are most definitely furry suits.

Normally I will hold a friends hand and they will help me navigate the large and crowded Javits Center and ‘protect’ me from being in proximity to anything that might frighten me.

But, there is only one character I could never be afraid of. It has been a special interest of mine since I was about 5 years old. Low and behold, waddling through the crowd I spotted a Sonic the Hedgehog mascot suit.

It was homemade but you could tell they knew what they were doing and probably make these for a living because it was borderline perfect, as far as I could tell.

Never in my life was I so excited to see someone parading around in a mascot suit. My friends were in shock when I jumped for joy and darted towards Sonic. I had to have a photo with my hero! I was beyond happy and surprised at how happy and relaxed I felt. With Zoey, I built up courage, but with Sonic, there was only joy and trust. I had a moment of triumph.

There are people who can explain their phobias, for example, someone could say they are afraid of the ocean, and if you ask them why, they could say they are afraid of drowning.

Someone could be afraid of crowds and they could say it’s the thought of getting lost. Someone could be afraid of snakes and it’s the thought of getting bit and having painful deadly poison injected into the body.

But me personally, I’m not quite sure why exactly I’m afraid, they simply freak me out. Perhaps it could be the humanoid body with the inhuman face, maybe it could simply be the deceit of seeing a character and knowing there is a stranger beyond the mask, the anonymity of it, or maybe it’s jarring to see a cartoon character almost flesh like in person.

As humans, we tend to have expectations when it comes to appearance and behavior. When something doesn’t fit a certain norm, it can become unsettling. In the horror genre, they use these expectations to their advantage, to make something innocent, such as a child, and turn it into something deceitful, hiding a greater evil.

It’s not completely a bad idea to try to face your fears. Sometimes it doesn’t work out as planned (I went to watch ‘It’ because my friend said it would be facing my fear of clowns but that only made me more afraid of clowns despite it being a phenomenal movie).

What I think is important, is to really sit back and reflect. Why are you afraid? Where is the fear stemming from? Is it simply irrational? Is it due to trauma? How do you deal with it? Can you overcome it? Will understanding your fear help you to overcome it? Just a few things to ponder. I’m sure you can come up with some interesting answers!

This delightful post was written by Amanda R. (@miunaluna)

Ramen Recipe



For Soup

•1 tablespoon oil
•1 onion, sliced
•1 tablespoon fresh grated ginger root
•4 garlic cloves, pressed or finely minced
•1 tablespoon chili garlic sauce
•2 tablespoons oyster sauce
•1 tablespoon fish sauce
•½ cup low sodium soy sauce
•¼ cup rice vinegar
•4 ounces shiitake mushrooms, stems removed and sliced
•½ - ¾ pounds baby bok choy, sliced into quarters lengthwise
•1 pound boneless, skinless chicken thighs
•4 cups low sodium chicken broth •1 cup water
•1-2 packages fresh yakisoba noodles* (one package is about 7 ounces. Use two packages if you like lots of noodles. Fresh noodles are usually found in the produce section of the grocery store)

For Ramen Egg
•4 eggs
•¼ cup low sodium soy sauce
•¼ cup rice vinegar
•¾ cup water

Additional toppings (optional)
•Sliced green onion
•Chili garlic sauce
•Sesame seeds
•Lime wedges


To prepare the ramen egg

1.Whisk together the ¼ cup of soy sauce, ¼ cup of rice vinegar and ¾ cup water, set aside.

2. Prepare an ice bath by filling a bowl with ice and water.

3. Bring a pot of water to boil (make sure there is enough water to cover the eggs). When boiling, carefully lower the eggs into the water using a slotted spoon or spider. Reduce heat if necessary to keep the water just barely boiling.

Cook for seven minutes, then remove from pot and place eggs in the ice bath.

Leave in the ice bath for 3 minutes.

Remove from ice bath and gently peel (egg will be soft).

Place peeled eggs in the marinade and make sure they are completely covered with the marinade.

Leave in the marinade for several hours or overnight. If keeping longer, discard the marinade and store in the refrigerator up to 3 days. Reheat the egg in the ramen broth (don't leave in the broth very long before serving or the egg will overcook).

To prepare the noodles

If using fresh noodles:

1. Bring a pot of water to a boil.

When boiling, add the noodles and simmer for 3 minutes. Strain and rinse with cold water.

Toss with just a little oil if necessary to keep them from sticking (mine already had a little oil on them, so I didn't need to). Set aside. (If using another type of noodle, follow package instructions)

To prepare soup

1. Heat a large pot or dutch oven over medium high heat.

Add the onion and saute until starting to soften, about 5 minutes.

Add the sliced mushrooms and saute for another 2-3 minutes.

Add the garlic and ginger and stir fry for about 30 seconds, just until fragrant so that they don't burn.

Add the chicken broth and 1 cup of water, soy sauce, rice vinegar, oyster sauce, fish sauce, chili garlic sauce, stir to combine. Bring back to a simmer.

2. When broth reaches a simmer, add the chicken thighs. Simmer for 15-20 minutes until chicken is cooked through and reaches a temperature of 165 degrees. 3. Remove the chicken and shred it with two forks. Add it back to the broth along with the bok choy and cook for 3-5 minutes. Remove from heat and serve.

Art Showcase October 2018

Since the theme is Halloween I made a girl with most of her face being creepy, which to me represents her inner demons, and the small part of her face being normal represents that she's trying to hide her demons by covering them up with makeup.

- toxic hope le killjoy#1230

I don't do so much as breathe if there is the risk of displeasure concerning my peers. I was abused in many ways, one of which involved me being locked in a room at school for hours almost every day as a child, and came to fear isolation, any perceived inadequacy greatly. Borderline personality disorder does not help with this issue. Therefore, to prevent a second tragedy, layer upon layer i have learned to add traits onto myself that please others. I cannot tolerate inadequacy.

- 𝕫𝕒𝕟#5434 (Tumblr)

October is right around the corner, so I decided to take some time out of my day to make this Halloween Roblox Graphic Design. I call it, "Hallow's Blood Bath..." It's personally one of my best and favorite graphic designs. I will do more Halloween designs soon.

-Trxsty#1337 (Twitter, YouTube)

This is a photo taken high in the French Alps while staying at the ski resort 'Les Arcs' with my 2 cousins. It is personally one of my best photos and I hold it dear to me because of the time and effort it took to find the perfect shot - resisting the urge at multiple occasions to just give up because of how the cold stopped my camera from focussing and the physical pain of having gloves off at -17° celsius. I love the snow and am very proud of this small achievement :3

- jamie.batterbury (Website)

It's my OC Antonio. he is immortal but likes to pretend to be a vampire to mess with people. (OC = Original character)

- miunaluna (Instagram)