Cures don’t exist for most mental health disorders, especially brain diseases. This is why I stopped seeking that miracle cure and decided to take this route instead.
I created this mental health discord chat room as a way to connect with others who lived with mental health issues, to ease the alienation that comes with mental illness. You might not be sure about whether a mental health discord is right for you, so no worries. I'll break down what you can expect from House of Misfits.
I wish I could give you a hug right now and tell you everything will be ok. I can’t give you a hug but I can tell you that everything will be ok.
There should be someone to give you a hug right now. There should be someone to give you the care that you deserve. Did you hear what I said right there? ‘That you deserve’. Yes, you do deserve care. Despite how you are being treated, despite what you have experienced, and despite what you the world has told you by it's actions, you are so worth caring for.
I know that you are feeling suicidal right now. No one else in the world knows it. But guess what? This is the future you writing this letter. You will survive this and by the time you are older you will be glad that you did.
I know how much you have going on right now. I know how scared you are right now. I wish I could tell you it will get easier. It will. But not right away, you will get there though in time. I wish you could see how strong and amazing you are.
For having the faith to stay here, right now. For having the strength to keep going even when everything feels like it’s falling down under your feet. You keep trying no matter how many times you fall down. I’m here to catch you now best I can. We all are. For having the courage to decide to live despite the struggles you are enduring. Wow..that is true courage.
I wish I could take away all the bad things that have happened to you. I wish I could take away all the pain that you are in right now. I wish I could change the hell that you are in right now. I can’t. All I can tell you is to hang in there, to keep yourself safe and that one day you will be so glad that you did.
I know you think that you want to die right now. But you know what? You don’t. You want to escape the pain that you are in. You want to be free from that. And you can see no other way.
I think that the thought of suicide helps, though, doesn’t it? When there is more bad stuff happening, just the thought that ‘it’s ok, I won’t have to endure this much longer’, that alone helps, doesn’t it?
I think of the emotional pain that I experience every day now, and how much emotional pain I have experienced over the past couple of years, and then I think that it probably doesn’t even compare to how much emotional pain you are in right now. It hurts so much, I know. But I don’t even know if you realise how much pain you are in. Perhaps because it’s normal, perhaps because it’s probably never been any other way.
I wish I could tell you to tell someone how horrible things are at home right now. How badly you are being treated. But I don’t know who you should tell or even what they can do. But all I can tell you is that it won’t always be this way. You will break free from that situation and it will get better .
I hope that I don’t just sound full of empty promises, that what I am writing to you means something. I hope that the fact that I am still here writing this when you are older says something in itself.
I wish I could tell you how amazing you are. But to do that I’d feel like I was telling myself that I'm amazing, and something always stops me believing that. But I know you are. You don’t feel it, right? You think everyone hates you. You can’t stand living every day. But you are amazing for living with this because I know much it takes out of you every day having to go to school, to live each day, pretending everything is fine, keeping up pretenses and not showing what things are really like for you.
I don’t know what else to say. The need to take you and give you a hug is so strong. I hate what they have put you through and it’s just not fair.
Another bit of advice I should give you is to let people in. Don’t keep shutting yourself away. Stop being like a robot. I’m saying to let people in, but I don’t even know who you should let in. By the time you are older you will be very free and open about talking about stuff – mostly in the hope that it might help others somehow. But you will spend many years shutting yourself off from everyone emotionally, bottling everything up. It just makes everything worse. It just makes everything so much more difficult to deal with. Please let someone in if you can.
I don’t know what else to say. There are endless things that I could say. But I don’t want to tell you all about the life ahead of you. You need to live your life without hearing it all first. But I hope that this letter may have been a little help to you.
Please keep yourself safe and just keep hanging in there. And hang on to the thought that one day you will be so, so glad that you did hang in there.
All my love and hugs always,
Future you xx
Written by _LilacRose14_#6995 (Lily)
Let me start by telling you that I love you.
No, I don’t know you at all.
I might have talked to you before I may have even heard of you and chances are you live far away from me, in another state or even in another country. I love you just the same.
Even though we are distant, we are not so different, you and I. You could tell by looking at others that they felt different, unhappy. You see, like you, they have felt intense pain. I have even had fleeting moments when I wanted to commit suicide myself. I suspect that’s something that everyone thinks about at one time or another, if they’re honest with themselves. I know that sometimes, pain can become so heavy to carry around that you might just think killing yourself is the only respite from how bad you feel.
But don’t do it.
This is why.
I think what’s happening to you is this. You are changing, both in body and mind. You are much like all other living beings. The caterpillar morphs into a butterfly. The flower that is beaten down with petals falling off that is just starting to bloom again. A crab searches for a new shell when it outgrows the old one. The old you, the one you’re used to being, is dying. That’s the one your loved ones know, the little boy/girl who sat on their laps and listened to their stories, the one they tucked in at night and took care of when there was illness. They still see you as that person.
Now, you’re changing, right in front of them. You don’t sound the same or act the same. Your likes and dislikes have changed. You used to give that maraschino cherry on top of your sundae to someone else. Now, you decide to eat that cherry yourself. Your family grieves for the person they once knew. The little girl or little boy that is now gone..All the stages of their grief — the anger, the denial, the guilt — are unfolding right before your eyes.
You are changing. Perhaps there is something about yourself that you are ashamed of in some way. Maybe you’re gay, lesbian, or feel like you’ve been born in the wrong body. Or you might just feel like you are weird. Sometimes, especially in our whole life, we feel disconnected, like we’re watching things go on around us but we’re not really a part of anything. I know because I’ve been lost before, many times. All those feelings, in part, come from shame. You were not born with shame, though, so you don’t have to own it. It took years for you to learn that shame is a part of you, but it takes only a declaration from you to release it.
You are what you are. Don’t make excuses for yourself. Doing so only minimizes who you are now and who you will become someday.
If all this isn’t enough, you also have to deal with bullies at school or work and a bunch of haters who come in all ages, races, occupations, and religions. Maybe you even find them in your house of worship. Some of these people think they have God on their side, as if He chooses one of His children over another. Yeah, it’s crazy. If you think about it long enough, though, you can see how people come to believe what they believe, but it doesn’t make them right any more than it makes you wrong. Don’t take these people seriously. It will only bring you down.
Get used to the new person who is growing inside you, if you don’t move that right away that’s okay. Look for support near and far. The Internet is full of people telling their stories on blogs and discussion threads.
You are not alone.
You will be amazed by how many people are like you. It’s a great feeling when you make a connection to a total stranger. It’s even greater when you realize what a help you have been to a stranger. Maybe together you can navigate this crazy world.
Yes, I love you. I want to give you a big hug and tell you that it gets better, because it actually does. Once you accept the person you are and forgive the ones who have wronged you, you will start to grow. Hang on. There are people you may not even know yet who are waiting for you with open arms, and they will love you unconditionally. Trust me. Your life will get better, and you will learn how to love again. Each cell in your body is perfect and each breath you breathe is something new. Start again, I don’t mind how it turns out but don’t give up just yet, you have so much more to give. Promise. Stay strong. I love you.
Written by _LilacRose14_#6995 (Lily)